As a teenager, anytime I heard the words “plastic surgery”, I cringed. Not only did I not understand why so many women and men wanted to change their bodies so drastically, but I didn’t want to know why they couldn’t accept themselves for who they were. I wrote a ten page research paper about the dangers associated with Silicone Breast Augmentations and my staunch disagreement with the matter. When my mother expressed that she wanted a face lift, I rolled my eye in disgust. I told her that she was wrong; she did not need or want it.
Well I was 16. I was a beautiful 16 year old girl with nothing but youth on her side who felt fat and ugly no matter how many people told her otherwise.
Needless to say, I grew up. The more I learned about the world, the more I learned about myself and what true beauty was. Most teenagers think that they know everything and I was no exception. The truth was, I didn’t know much about life and self-acceptance. I didn’t know much about hard work or what it meant to love yourself in such a judgemental world.
I considered very carefully on whether to open up about this or not, but I’ve decided to share with the world my story…because what’s better than hearing it straight from the horses
mouth hooves? (Horses type, right?)
Last November I turned 27. As I began to exit my mid-twenties, I realized that life was getting shorter by the day. No longer was I 16, living in my parents house dreaming of my future…most of that “future” had already passed by me. Today is the only day in certainty. So this year on my 27th birthday, I promised myself that I would no longer dream; I would start living.
Most of you know by now that my dream has always been to live a life of music. So I set out to make that happen and now we are suddenly on our way to LA to record our next album! Another dream of mine was to have strong and healthy relationships…it’s not easy, but I am working on that everyday. To do all of this, I needed to make sure my confidence was at it’s peak. I started working out more than I ever had in my life and taking care of my body so I could perform my best. I found a counselor when I felt my anxiety was starting to affect my sanity and my relationships. I quit my job and took control of my career when I felt that my boss and my workplace was no longer suited for me and my lifestyle.
This last year has been pretty terrifying and there was one more thing that I had left to do: take control of my body once and for all.
Since I was a young girl, I’ve struggled with body image. The number one issue that I had was hereditary and I knew that no matter how much I exercised or lost weight, I would still always have a double chin. I could never have that chiseled profile and that stunning long neck. With my paparazzi mother, I was constantly in front of the camera. I liked being in front of it and I was very comfortable doing so, but as soon as I saw that excess fat hanging from my face, I wanted to hide.
Now as an adult, I understand the importance of feeling confident and good about yourself. I also work in the most vain industry in the world: cosmetology. This has obviously helped to shape my opinion on beauty, the body and self-appreciation. What I once saw as pretentious self-admiration, I now see as art.
So here it is. Something I already have and will continue to be judged for, my own plastic surgery.
Yesterday I received liposuction of my neck and chin. I also had my platysma muscle released to snap back up into place to create a longer and more contoured neck and jawline.
Most people reading this are probably wondering why I would want this done or why I would even post about it.
I considered keeping this private as it really is no one’s business but my own. However, I strive to be a role model for the younger generations. I am a firm believer that we are the only people who can and should control our bodies. I also believe that happiness and confidence comes in many forms and in order to find it for ourselves, we must search deep internally to conquer fear and realize our potential. “Plastic surgery” carries a negative connotation and that needs to be changed. We are not plastic. We are real, living creatures who are complex and sensitive.
Why can’t we just accept what we were born with naturally? Well, we can! But just like everything else in life, “natural” is subjective. Naturally, I am blonde, but currently my hair is red. Naturally, I was born naked. However, I wear clothing and makeup on a daily basis and I’ve adorned my skin with beautiful, permanent artwork. Naturally, I was made to walk, but I drive my car. Naturally, canines and felines are probably supposed to be enemies, but my cat hangs, sleeps, plays and eats with my dogs. Computers are man-made and the Internet defies nature…but hell, this is where we’ve ended up.
I am not ashamed of the work I’ve had done on my face. It doesn’t change me as a person and I will be damned if I let someone make me feel shameful about it. But if you are reading this, that’s probably because you saw it on my tumblr or facebook and that means we’re friends…you wouldn’t judge me, right?
If you do, it’s okay. The judgement lies on you. Surely I didn’t need liposuction, but I wanted it. So I went out and got it because I promised myself on my 27th birthday that this was my life and if I wanted to be happy, all I had to do was try.
When I am fully healed and the swelling has mostly disappeared, I will post before and after photos. Feel free to send any questions my way.
I love you and thank you for understanding.