i saw you in my dreams

keeps walking by me, staring into my eyes with the most intense gaze. She has no shame and I feel like a cowering caged animal. What the fuck?

…everyone seems confused as to what season to dress for. Were looking forward to fall fashion while clinging to the last days of summer.

All I’m saying is that if you are willing to wear knee high black leather boots with a tube top, you should be equally willing to wear flip flops with a down coat and mittens.

I am left in the dark as to why the three small words “I am sorry” have a difficult time escaping mouths in a sincere manner. Often, all I hear is a shortened version plagued with sarcasm. I don’t know about you, but I would rather not hear any words than that smart-ass reply, because you know when it’s said in that manner, the words are meant to hurt and pass the blame…often in the form of “well, I’m sorRY, but you _____.” 

It seems as if people would just start owning up to their mistakes or just showing a little compassion when another is hurt or offended, we’d be much better off. I make mistakes just like anyone else and I’ll apologize as soon as I’m aware, I’m just not sure how often that same respect is reciprocated. 

As long as there is passion first. It’s a delicate balance you’ve got to master. Not that I am any expert on marriage after only a year, but as I’m watching this trend trickle down my group of friends, I’m learning that it is more important to have a meaningful, deep desire for your partner than a strong friendship.

However, that friendship is vital because passion always comes with a price.

Passion alone will kill you.

I always thought that in the entirely over-saturated market of the music business, it’s a wonder so many bands actually survive long enough to see any national recognition.

But then I remember that a “business” typically revolves around making a profit…tell me what band you know that actually makes a profit on their art! 

The musicians that break through and hold on for life are the musicians who are willing to give up everything to give themselves to music.

I vow here and now to never let the world get in the way of my passion. All I want to do is be an inspiration, just like others have inspired me. 

All day, all night.

We’re a product of social penetration;
our teeth grind for hours on end.
Self-disclosure becomes a mishap when
nothing is shared more frequently than
our written thoughts on the internet.

Break the surface
and nothing is broken.
Scratch the surface
and nothing has changed.

Confusing our privacy with public access:
falsifying relationships; recording failed promises.
Listen as the media grants us one more wish
and the government chuckles under their breath
while we hide behind a veil of resistance.

Find the purpose
of this decade in broadcast.
We haven’t scratch the surface
if we allow fear of change.

Big Brother is watching your every move
while our institutions continue to judge you.

This is so much more than
the tips of your fingers
and the tired letters wearing beneath them. 
Click, click, clicking away
just what you always meant to say;
those words in which could not escape
the moment you needed them the most.

Our words are stolen from our tongues
and stars are stolen from our eyes.
They’ve replaced our hopes with golden lies
to thrust division between you and I.

Hello, world wide web,
you are now our only friend.

©Jennifer Bartlett 2011

(i revisited a few of my old journal entries today from years back and my reflections lead me to write a new piece. this certainly does not mirror my current romantic scenario, but i was able to place my heart back into the past for this. it’s funny how after six years, a few relationships and a load of maturation, you can still feel that ache in your stomach that you once felt…like it was just yesterday.)

Weekend Bed/Weakened Bet

I came down from the sky again, tonight.
Just like the chilling water falling from the clouds-
I dropped to the pavement and melted into the ground.
I mistook your kindess for love, I know that now,
but I delved so deep into your heart,
the climb out is too agonizing for my hands to allow.

I don’t remember the night feeling this way-
as if lonliness and restlessness only came out to play
when my sheets are turned down.
You swallowed my heart whole and now
my head can’t find a way out of this town.

The moonlight snuck into my room, tonight.
But only to remind me that my dreams are still alive.
The soft beams haunted my smooth, fair skin,
reminding me that my heart remains your possession.

Yesterday, I felt I could take down the world
with you by my side.
Today, you employed your pride to destroy mine.

I suffocated on our weekend fling,
as we bounced from bed to bed
in attempts to keep these voids from emptying again.

You thought you could settle this
with a romantic goodbye kiss,
but not even the most passionate fix
could begin to clean up this mess.

Because it’s the truth in your eyes
that scream out the fact in this:
We’ll never escape the emptiness
we feel for a home that does not exist.

I’m so fucking lonely out here;
your soul is the only ghost that my heart fears.

©Jennifer Bartlett 2011

…how many people that i know are feeling the same emotions, emptiness, and loneliness at the same time. how many of us are frustrated and at our wit’s end because we can’t seem to find the proper balance in what we want and what we need? if there was some kind of way we could speak to eachother in a way that makes all other communication seem powerless in comparison, we might just find a way to cope. if we can see ourselves in others and see other people in ourselves, maybe that’s all we need.

how often can we keep eachother at arm’s length? we need to open up; it’s now or never.

alexasunshine:

fieroasco:

keepyourvoices:

fewdays:

pupfresh:

Looks like The Receiving End Of Sirens may be getting back together.

omg please

oh my GOD let me DIE

ugh. this must happen.

you just gtfo right now. maybe i’ll appreciate this band to it’s full extent when they get back together. i didn’t listen to them when they were a band, but afterwards i realized i fucked up.

if this is true, i vow here and now, to never give up on making music. i must share a stage with them one day.

…before I turn into everything that I never wanted to be.

I’ve been busy. I could update but it would take too long with my iPod and I am not about to move this sleeping puppy off my back to get on a computer. Soon .

Saw my first CFI billboard in Grand Rapids. 

“Holy shit” were the first words to come to mind…how odd!

It’s obvioius that I cannot group myself in with the conservative Christians in this town, but I can only guess some are livid about that sign.

I appreciate this. It’s far too often I find self-proclaimed Christians who are anything but. They commonly will throw the religion card into conversation and use it as a right to judge others. I could write a novel about my opinions on the hypocrisy, but I will spare my fellow followers that petty soap-box stance. 

The fact is, we have believers and we have non-believers. It may be too simple of a notion for our complex human minds to comprehend, but if we could just respect eachother instead of running our mouth out of spite…maybe we wouldn’t have to post billboards like these. 

http://livingwithoutreligion.org/